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The Myth of Loyalty (and Other Fairy Tales Told in Boardrooms)

Question: what's the secret to building client loyalty in luxury? Response: "there's a unicorn question if ever there was one."

SourceUpdated 22 Aug 2026

The Myth of Loyalty (and Other Fairy Tales Told in Boardrooms)

Question: what's the secret to building client loyalty in luxury? Response: "there's a unicorn question if ever there was one."

> "Luxury loyalty is one of those things everyone insists they've got, but the evidence is suspiciously thin."

What gets mistaken for loyalty

Hotels: "we used to bang on about guest loyalty as though guests were sworn to us for life. In reality they just didn't want to learn where the bloody light switches were in some other hotel." They came back "for the same reason people stay in bad marriages — they can't face the admin of leaving."

Cognitive inertia — "humans cling to what they know even when they might find something better, because better might mean effort."

> The private jet story: a client used the same operator for a decade. Asked why: "because he has their number saved in his phone." "Ten years of loyalty, courtesy of a phone contact" — "every brand manager's nightmare."

And the brand will still insist it's their "exceptional service ethos" — because "everyone in luxury is desperate to believe in the romance of loyalty. It flatters the ego." > "They don't come back because they love us. They come back because they don't want to explain themselves again." > "It's the illusion of intimacy — the relationship feels close because it's repetitive. Nothing else."

The "just like family" client: a jewellery salesperson swore a client was family. The client bought her next piece elsewhere the moment a rarer stone appeared. "It's family until the better stone comes along."

What real loyalty is

> "Real loyalty only exists when it costs you something."

  • The client who waits three months for their Savile Row tailor rather than going elsewhere.
  • The staff member who stays despite being offered more money "because they actually give a damn."

Effort justification — and why Hermès is not loyalty

"The more you invest, the more you believe in it." Hermès "built an entire business model on that — they make you wait and wait, and by the time your name crawls up the list, you've convinced yourself it's a spiritual experience and you're one of the chosen ones."

> ⚠️ "That's not loyalty. It's psychological investment. But it looks the same on paper" — "which is why it's so fragile. The moment something goes wrong, it evaporates."

The complacency trap: "brands mistake habit for affection and then stop trying." "She's still here, therefore everything must be fine — then one day she runs off with the Amazon delivery man because he remembered her birthday." > "People move the second someone makes them feel more interesting. Loyalty is not earned once. It's rented, and then renewed."

Loyalty programmes don't work

"The industry's response is to invent a loyalty programme, because points can replace emotion." On the "exclusive client club": "a private shopping event on a Thursday evening with a hundred people and a DJ — if that's the private one, God only knows what the public one is like."

What actually works: recognition

> **"True loyalty isn't about reward schemes. It's about recognition — that feeling of being known. When a client thinks they'd notice if I stopped coming."**

  • The maître d' who remembers you like the corner table
  • The assistant who says "you bought the navy one last time — shall I show you the grey?"

"Tiny things, but they communicate that you matter."

> "You can automate emails. You can design fancy packaging. But you can't automate genuine attention." > "Luxury is only luxurious when someone's actually paying attention."

The irony: "the most valuable luxury is free. You can't scale it, and it drives the MBAs nuts." How do they think they can automate charm? "They'll try. But clients can tell the difference between warmth and a workflow."

Closing: "You never really own it. You just get to borrow it until someone else makes your clients feel more interesting than you do."

Cross-references